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Diversity Tomorrow. Because Today Is Almost Over.
The rules of shotgun are very simple and very clear. The first person to shout ‘shotgun’ when you’re within sight of the car gets the front seat. That’s how the game’s played. There are no exceptions for someone with a concussion.
Do I need to be liked? Absolutely not. I like to be liked. I enjoy being liked. I have to be liked. But it’s not like a compulsive need to be liked. Like my need to be praised.
Would I rather be feared or loved? Easy. Both. I want people to be afraid of how much they love me.
Forget everything you thought you knew about ab workouts.
The trick is to undercook the onions.
My grandfather left me a 60 acre working beet farm.
Occasionally I’ll hit somebody with my car.
My God, these could be tracings!
I BURNED MY FOOT.
I enjoy having breakfast in bed. I like waking up to the smell of bacon, sue me. And since I don’t have a butler, I have to do it myself. So, most nights before I go to bed, I will lay six strips of bacon out on my George Foreman Grill. Then I go to sleep. When I wake up, I plug in the grill, I go back to sleep again. Then I wake up to the smell of crackling bacon. It is delicious, it’s good for me. It’s the perfect way to start the day. Today I got up, I stepped onto the grill and it clamped down on my foot… that’s it. I don’t see what’s so hard to believe about that.
Scranton, PA
Sometimes I’ll start a sentence and I don’t even know where it’s going. I just hope I find it along the way.