First in Friendship. Fourth in Obesity.
“Everything hurts and I’m dying.” – Leslie Knope
“There’s only one thing I hate more than lying: skim milk. Which is water that is lying about being milk.” – Ron Swanson
“Time is money; Money is power; Power is pizza; Pizza is knowledge. Let’s go!” – April Ludgate
“I am a Goddess, a glorious female warrior.” – Leslie Knope
“Just remember, every time you look up at the moon, I, too, will be looking at a moon. Not the same moon, obviously, That’s impossible.” – Andy Dwyer
“Sometimes you gotta work a little so you can ball a lot.” – Tom Haverford
“We have to remeber what’s important in life: friends waffles and work. Or waffles, friends, work. But work has to come third.” – Leslie Knope
“I’m fine. It’s just that life is pointless and nothing matters and I’m always tired.” – Andy Dwyer
“Put some alcohol in your mouth to block with words from coming out.” – Ron Swanson
“I’m big enough to admit that I am often inspired by myself.” – Leslie Knope
“Boss man, I wanna go home early. Ooh, hold on actually, hang on. Yeah, no, I wanna quit and never come here again.” – Mona Lisa
“There’s nothing we can’t do if we work work hard, never sleep, and shirk from all other responsibilities in our lives.” – Leslie Knope
“I once forgot to brush my teeth for 5 weeks. I didn’t actually sell my car, I just forgot where I parked it. I don’t know who Al Gore is and at this point I’m too afraid to ask. When they say 2 percent milk I don’t know what the other 98 percent is. When I was a baby my head was so big scientists did experiments on me. I once threw beer at a swan and then it attacked my niece, Rebecca.” -Andy Dwyer
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“One person’s annoying is another’s inspiring and heroic.” – Leslie Knope
“I’m gonna buy some sweat pants and a Nicholas Sparks novel. Might as well lean into it.” -Tom Haverford
“You have all the strengths.” – Leslie Knope
“No matter what I do, literally nothing bad can happen to me. I’m like a white, male US Senator.” – Leslie Knope
“Thank god my grandfather just died, so I am fluh-uh-shed with ca-ah-ash.” – Jean Ralphio
“Treat yo self.” – Donna Meagle and Tom Haverford
“All I need to do is focus and stay calm.” – Leslie Knope
“Goodbye, Ann Perkins, my faithful employee. Hello, Ann Perkins, my fallopian princess.” – Chris Traeger
“I’m a simple man. I like pretty, dark-haired women, and breakfast food.” – Ron Swanson
“Can we have ONE conversation about feminism where MEN get to be in charge?” – Kip Bunthart
“I stand behind my decision to avoid salad and other disgusting things.” – Leslie Knope
“Do I look like I drink water?” -Donna Meagle
“This is so awesome. We are like Robin Hood. We steal from the club and give to ourselves.” – Andy Dwyer
“If I keep my body moving, and my mind occupied at all times, I will avoid falling into a bottomless pit of despair.” – Chris Traeger
“You know my code. Hoes before bros. Uteruses before duderuses. Ovaries before brovaries.” – Leslie Knope
“Jogging is the worst. I know it keeps you healthy, but God, at what cost?” – Ann Perkins
